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5 Ways To Break Up and Stay Grounded

“Breaking up is hard to do…” No. Breaking up is like being Charlie Brown with Lucy holding the ball. BAM. You’re on your butt in the dirt and damn it hurts! Here are 5 ways to tell your Lucy to take a hike and feel good about it: Lesson #1: If you think she is going to break up with you, make the first move […]

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“Breaking up is hard to do…” No. Breaking up is like being Charlie Brown with Lucy holding the ball. BAM. You’re on your butt in the dirt and damn it hurts!

Here are 5 ways to tell your Lucy to take a hike and feel good about it:

Lesson #1: If you think she is going to break up with you, make the first move. Unlike chess, taking your Queen out early is one of the best ways to preserve your heart and ego. Honestly, most men know when the ground is getting shaky but just like Charlie they are just too trusting.

Here are some tell tale signs she’s going to dump you and you better make the first move:

  • She changes her dorm room bedding every time you sleep over
  • She has broken up with you twice before
  • She flirts with anyone and everyone when she has had one too many
  • She goes to Vegas without you

Lesson #2: If you haven’t managed #1 effectively and you find yourself on your back in the dirt: Don’t let it happen again, even if she cries. There are a slew of sadistic Lucys out there but they can only be MEAN again if you let them. One minute you are kicked out of her life and then the next she is texting an apology. Don’t buy it, this is a heart roller coaster no one deserves or needs. Do you really want to spend any more time in anguish?

Lesson #3: Collect two or three good break up songs like Goyte’s, “Someone I used to Know,” and keep them on the ready for when you are feeling low. Time heals almost everything. You’re not the first guy to be dumped and no matter how badly it hurts a song or two reminding you that you’re not alone will help.

Lesson #4: Don’t just go out with a Lucy look-a-like and expect a different outcome. Dating a girl that is a lot like the last one is pitch-hitting and this hardly ever works out. Try dating a woman that is substantially different from the one that just left you like road-kill on the side of the road.

Lesson #5: Focus on yourself, your life and your friends. Likely, while you were dating Lucy you spent all your time with the object of your affection and her friends. Part of the hardest part of breaking up is that it tears a hole in the patterns of life. Change those patterns. Eat at different places, hang out with different people, do different things than you did when you were in the relationship. Different situations will make the emptiness disappear and get you past the breakup more quickly.

Matt Thames works for Selby Acoustics, Australia’s leading supplier of home theatre equipment and HDMI cable.

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Thong Battle

Thong Battle: 05/22/18 – 05/29/18

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Welcome to the Thong Battle! Every Tuesday, you guys get to vote on which thonged beauty you prefer. The winner moves on to next week to face off against another competitor.

Last week’s Thong Battle was another blowout, with our reigning Champ running away with over 60% of the votes. Can she keep this winning streak going for another week and retire in the top spot, or will our fantASStic newcomer Ruby finally send her packing?

Both of these Instagram smokeshows have incredible asses, but only one can move on to the next round. Cast your vote now and let us know who should move on to next week’s battle!

1 – Champion

2 – Challenger

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Be sure to share this post on Facebook and Twitter so we can get as many votes as possible!

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Thong Battle

Thong Battle: 05/15/18 – 05/22/18

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Welcome to the Thong Battle! Every Tuesday, you guys get to vote on which thonged beauty you prefer. The winner moves on to next week to face off against another competitor.

Last week’s Thong Battle was another blowout, with the stunning Laryssa running away with a whopping 80% of the votes. Can she keep this winning streak of hers going for another week, or will our fantASStic newcomer Faith steal the crown from her and send her packing?

Both of these Instagram smokeshows have incredible asses, but only one can move on to the next round. Cast your vote now and let us know who should move on to next week’s battle!

1 – Champion

2 – Challenger

A post shared by Faith Marone (@faiithmarone) on


Be sure to share this post on Facebook and Twitter so we can get as many votes as possible!

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Sex

Worried About Finishing Too Quickly? Here’s How To Last Longer In Bed

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Passionate couple in bed

You finally worked up the nerve to ask out that cutie from accounting. The date is going great, sparks are flying, and she suggests heading back to your place to hang out. It doesn’t take long for the clothes to start flying, and after some quick foreplay, it’s time for the main event. Only you get too worked up and cum almost immediately. Why couldn’t you last longer in bed?!

Look, we’ve all been there at one point or another. Maybe the girl was so far out of your league that you got too excited (like Jim from American Pie). Or maybe it’s been awhile since you’ve had sex, and you just couldn’t control yourself.

Sadly, for some people this is a regular occurrence. If you fall into that category, not to worry, as we’ve got some tips that should help you last longer between the sheets, ensuring that both of you get off and go to sleep with smiles on your faces.

1. Masturbate An Hour Or Two Before Sex

If you’re planning on having sex, it couldn’t hurt to rub one out a few hours beforehand. Why? Because unlike women, when a man ejaculates, his body (ie. balls) needs some time to recover before going for a second round. So if you empty the chamber before the big event, you should be able to go a little longer the next time around.

2. Take Care Of Her Needs First

It’s a known fact that women take longer to reach climax, so if you’re typically a little quick on the draw, focus on foreplay and getting her off first. Trust me, if you go down on her (sorry DJ Khaled) and focus on giving her the big O, then no matter what happens afterwards, she’s still going to be a satisfied customer who will likely be coming back for more.

3. Slow Things Down If You Need To

If you sense that you’re about to go past the point of no return, tell your partner that you need to slow down. You can say to her, “You’re so hot. I’m not going to last long if we keep this up,” and stimulate her orally or manually until you have regained control of the situation and are ready to continue. Trust me, she’ll appreciate your candor, and the fact that you’re looking out for her enjoyment as well.

4. Use A Desensitizing Spray

If you’re still struggling on how to last longer in bed, consider trying a desensitizing spray like Promescent for lasting longer during lovemaking. The spray absorbs into the skin in a matter of minutes, optimally desensitizing the penis and allowing for better control with negligible loss of sensitivity, so you can keep the party going a bit longer.

5. Try The Squeeze Technique

As the name suggests, the squeeze technique involves physically squeezing your penis (ouch) to stop yourself from cumming too soon when you feel your orgasm coming on. Simply stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis, applying firm pressure with your thumb and forefinger for about 5-10 seconds. Done right, this will temporarily decrease sexual tension, which represses the ejaculation response.

So there you have it, five tips to help you increase your sexual performance and help you and your partner get more satisfaction in the bedroom. And if all else fails, it might be time to discuss your premature ejaculation issues with a doctor.

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