“Hey babe,” you greet your beloved girlfriend as you come home from the gym. “Hey,” she reciprocates. You give her a quick peck on the lips. “How was your workout?”

“Fantastic…” you say dreamily, but the only thought on your mind at the moment is to release the horniness that’s been built up from your chest workout. From behind, you wrap your arms tightly around her abs and kiss her gently on the neck. Then you take her hand and try to take her to the bedroom.

“Sweetie…not now…” she says with a sigh.

“Oh…ok,” you say, visibly disappointed.

This is the third time this week she’s “not in the mood” If this happens again, I’m going to need a strait jacket.

Do you ever feel the lust in your sex life disappearing? Do you miss those first few times when you both couldn’t wait to get your hands on one another? Or maybe you feel uncomfortable when your date is going well, but you have difficulty transitioning from a riveting conversation to a sexual spark in the bedroom?

The key to maintaining this fire is foreplay. Women love it, but us men are often times too impatient to spend much time in this department. But, as a man, if you don’t take steps to get her in the mood for sex, then you won’t be having much of it.

For women, foreplay is just as important as sex, and a true gentleman knows how to turn a woman on.

Here are a few tips:

1. Tease

Most guys try to be efficient when it comes to sex, which means less teasing and more fucking. But a woman doesn’t want that.

Foreplay starts with verbal teasing while your clothes are still on. By teasing her, you show her that you are comfortable with tension, and tension is the gateway to arousal.

This is why makeup sex is so passionate. When she’s riled up and has an excess amount of tension built up, it’s all released through orgasm. With more tension, she’ll have a stronger release.

Something you can do to really turn her on is to make her anticipate your next move, but don’t immediately fulfill her desires. This will build up tension quickly.

For example, if you’re going down on her, don’t immediately thrust your tongue inside of her. Instead, go from making out with her to kissing down her body until you reach her pelvic region. Then lick the inner part of the upper thighs and kiss around her clit. When you start going down on her, lick her once lightly, pause, then lick a bit deeper. At this point, she will be gyrating her hips towards your mouth begging for more. Then go for it.

And the same concept applies right before sex itself. Before you stick it in, make sure you “paint the fence.” Take your penis and rub it up and down across the clit and vaginal lips. This will get her wet instantly.

2) Be verbally dominant

You can call her names if she’s into that, and a lot of girls are. You can also give her commands. As you are teasing her, you can say things like, “tell me that you want me…” or “say that you want me inside of you…”

Then she’ll be the one trying to escalate things.

3) Know the erogenous zones

Obviously everyone knows the lips. But also pay attention to her neck, her nipples, her butt, her inner thighs, and her ears. You can bite her neck, play with her nipples until they’re hard, grab and spank her butt, and lick and kiss her inner thighs.

The one body part that most guys miss is her ears. When you lick a girl’s ears during foreplay or during sex, it’ll drive her crazy.

4) Be present

To really get her turned on, you have to know when to switch things up and when to keep pressing on. So be present and watch her reactions.

If you notice that she’s getting really turned on when you bite her neck and pull her hair, keep doing that. But it’s usually best to see which erogenous zones turn her on the most and focus on those.

Don’t just follow the same routine. Experiment and change things up. Maybe you have certain “moves” that you’re experienced with, but if you open yourself up to different possibilities, then you might find something that will drive her wild that you haven’t tried before. Then that could become your next “move.”

If you want to differentiate yourself from the crowd, be sure to keep these tips in mind. Remember, most guys don’t know how to build tension. Sometimes they’ll get nervous and just want to “get laid” and get it over with. Sometimes they tire of the routine and feel like it’s an obligation. Sex should never feel like an obligation.

Once you go out and start applying these principles, you’ll become the guy who’s always on her mind.

About Marcus Awakuni

Marcus was a shy, introverted nerd turned ladies man. He studied mathematics as an undergrad at BYU and planned to attend grad school, but after his father passed away shortly after graduating, he had a change of heart. He moved to Las Vegas and became a dating coach, and is now dedicated to revolutionizing the dating advice industry with his new age approach. You can find him at AGL Lifestyles, or send him an email at marcus@agllifestyles.com.