Do Women Like One Night Stands?

one night stand

Sex is a completely natural thing that both men and women love and enjoy. In recent human history, sex was considered something that happens between a man and a woman only on and after, their wedding night.

Yet it hasn’t always been that way, and it seems as though humanity’s view of sex has reverted back to what it may have been like many moons ago. Today, men and women are free to explore their sexuality in any way they like. Men and women all over the world engage in pre-marital sexual activities on a daily basis and one night stands have become completely normal and accepted amongst most people.

The “No Sex Before Marriage” Laws Are All But Gone
Along with equal rights and the right to vote, women now also have the right to be in charge of their bodies. In the past, it was illegal and highly shameful to have sex before marriage. But in today’s world, women can have sex with whomever they want and whenever they want. There are no laws against it (in most parts of the world anyway) and because of that, men and women now enjoy the pleasures of a one night stand.

Of course, there are many conservative individuals who will condemn it, and they are entitled to their opinion. But as a whole, most guys feel comfortable about doing it. But do women feel the same way? Do women like one night stands? I think the best way to answer this question is with another question; if women didn’t like one night stands, why do millions of one night stands happen every night? In most places around the world, every night of the week, men and women are getting together for one night to have sex with each other. Both men and women are obviously enjoying it, otherwise they wouldn’t be doing it.

Most Women Will Tell You That It’s Their First One Night Stand
Personally, I’ve had way too many one night stands to mention and I’m now in a committed relationship with my ideal woman. However, when I was out there having regular one night stands (usually 2-3 per month), I was surprised to keep meeting women who told me, “This is the first time I’ve ever done this.” The first few times I thought, “Wow, I’ve found a really nice woman who likes me so much that she’s decided to change what she normally does and go with the flow of the moment. This must be love! She must be the one!”

Later though, I realized that women say that for very important reasons. Some of which include:

  1. A woman doesn’t want you thinking that she accepts sex easily and thus may cheat on you in future.
  2. A woman wants you to see her as the one, so you commit to her. For most of human history, a woman needed to do this so a man wouldn’t impregnate her and then leave her alone to raise the offspring.
  3. A woman doesn’t want you thinking that she’s done that with other guys because it may cause you to feel as though other guys were better than you.

Now, that’s not to say that all women have one night stands and then next time a woman says, “This is my first time doing this” that she is lying. However, in most cases, she’s just trying to ensure that you and her get off to the best start possible. After all, although most women won’t admit it, they are looking to find “the one” are and are happy to try out a few men before they find him. That doesn’t maker her a bad woman or woman of low moral character. Instead, she just another woman trying to find the right man in a world where sex before marriage is the norm for most people.

Despite what some conservative minded people might assume, one night stands aren’t all about sex, thanks and good bye. The truth is, many of the men and women who have a “one night stand” will go on to have meaningful relationships with each other, while others will walk away from the one night stand feeling satisfied, but not wanting to have anything else to do with each other.

What Is Stopping You From Having A One Night Stand?
If you’d like to have sex with new, beautiful women on the day or night that you first meet them, what is stopping you? Are any of the following things standing in your way?

  • You believe that a one night stand is morally wrong.

We all receive a different moral education from our parents, our elders and our schools. If a guy grew up being warned that sex is bad and should only take place between a husband and a wife (or in a serious relationship), or that women should remain as a virgin until they’re married, then he will naturally believe that one night stands are bad, or that women don’t enjoy (or want to have) one night stands.

However, if he stops to think about the fact that millions of one night stands happened last night and both the men and women loved it, he will realize the opposite. It’s all a matter of perspective. We each have the right to think how we want, but if we only see one side of an argument then we will never truly understand it.

  • You think it’s demeaning to women.

Some guys feel obliged to “protect” women. To some guys, this can also mean protecting their honor and virtue. For this reason, guys like that think that having a one night stand with a woman is demeaning to her. This, however, is presumptuous. Women aren’t stupid. In fact, many tests reveal women to be smarter than men in many areas. Women are perfectly capable of making their own decisions about sex and don’t need a “super nice guy savior” to hide them from their natural desires, in a world where it is acceptable to express and explore them.

The truth is that most women you meet today will happily go along with a one night stand if it feels right to them. It’s their choice. Having a one night stand doesn’t make her a bad woman; it’s just her way of finding out what she likes in a man and hopefully meeting the man who fulfills her in the way she wants. Then, it will be up to her if she wants to commit to him or just enjoy a short relationship.

  • You’re afraid that the woman will be offended.

Women often do things that men just don’t understand. A common “trick” that women use on men is to behave as though they are offended by something a guy says or does. This is one way that a woman will test how interested a guy is in her, how much he’s willing to put up with and whether he’s confident enough to have sex with her in the way she’d love. Of course, being offended by the mention of a one night stand is a common use of this neat trick. A woman may smile or laugh and then gasp and appear offended, “I’m not that kind of girl!” or “Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?” at which point most guys will assume they’ve been rejected.

Not understanding the tests that women use to find confident men, makes it difficult for a guy to get anywhere with women. Eventually, he gets to the point where he thinks, “Why can’t I just find a nice girl who won’t play games with me?” not realizing that the woman is simply testing to see how socially intelligent and confident he is. It is a completely normal and natural thing that women do to find a compatible man. However, not knowing that, most guys get to the point where they’d rather avoid approaching women altogether than face the humiliation, rejection and subsequent emotional pain after yet another failed approach. Some guys might even begin to believe that women aren’t as interested in sex as much as men are and that if a woman has sex with him, it’s almost as though she’s doing him a favor.

  • You fear being rejected if you try it.

When a guy lacks confidence and generally believes that he’s not good enough for the women he wants, he won’t feel very comfortable approaching women. As for attempting to pull off a one night stand, it is really only something that he daydreams about before falling asleep at night or thinks he might be able to do while very drunk. Other than that, he assumes that women will reject him just like they usually tend to do, so he’ll feel as though there’s no point even trying.

  • You don’t know how to bring up the subject of having a one night stand with a woman.

Quite naturally, saying to a woman, “Your place or mine?” or “How about it?” five minutes after you’ve met her is not going to get you a one night stand. Great conversation skills (which include the ability to flirt, use sexual innuendos and intelligently bring sex into the conversation) is a critical element to sexual seduction. Additionally, if a guy is unable to engage a woman in conversation, draw her out and get her to talk about herself whilst at the same time giving of himself, then he cannot hope to succeed with her; for a one night stand or for a longer relationship.

  • You don’t know what to do if she says “yes!”

Even worse than the fear of rejection is the fear of acceptance. Some guys will avoid approaching women because they don’t know what to do if she actually says yes. Their lack of confidence stops them from enjoying the moment and being themselves around woman they desire, so they avoid approaching women altogether. Guys like this will wait for a woman to choose them and when it doesn’t happen, they will usually shrug it off as confirmation that they don’t have what it takes to be picked up for a one night stand. Unfortunately for these guys, they simply don’t realize that men are the choosers and need to walk up and talk to women they find attractive and then guide the woman to sex, love and a relationship.

Just Do It

Easily one of the most famous slogans of all time, the Nike slogan seems like an appropriate finish to this article. When it comes to approaching women and escalating to a one night stand, you basically just have to do it. Be confident, connect with the woman and have a great time (while being your true self) and escalate to kissing and sex. Everyone else is doing it, so why not join in on all the fun?

 

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About the author: Dan Bacon

 

Dan Bacon is a dating expert and the founder of The Modern Man, a company which has helped 1,000s of men achieve success with women. He has a book called The Flow and 10 additional training programs about success with women, dating and relationships in the modern world.

 

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