Happy Valentine’s Day.. Bah Fricken Humbug!

I’m sick and tired of corporate greed.. I consider myself to be a romantic guy, but the corporate world has finally beat that idea out of me! Here are a couple of things that pushed me over the edge:

Proflowers.com – I saw the advertisement on TV, $20 for a dozen roses (surely of the highest of quality), and it comes complete with a glass vase! I thought, ok, I don’t usually buy flowers on Valentine’s Day out of principal, but this seems reasonable. So I went to their website, and after all said and done, with special handling and delivery on Valentine’s Day, the total came to $42!! Unbelievable, I should’ve known better.. If it looks to good to be true, it probably is!

So I closed the webpage. About an hour later, I got an email from them offering me another 10% if I came back and completed my order. Wow! $36 for that $20 deal, I should probably reconsider, huh???

In addition, I try to keep it simple on Valentine’s Day.. But they’ve really made it hard not to look like a shmuck with all the advertising! I went over to Walmart and figured I’d pick up a card and maybe some candy. I didn’t even think to look at the price of the card. When I got to the register, it rings up for $6! Seriously?! This thing better score me some serious nookie!

So, what’s next? Memorial Day cards? 9/11 Cards? Of course, they would cost $9.11. But don’t you worry, $0.11 of every card will be donated to wounded warrior’s closeted gay cousin’s fund!

I also noticed that we don’t call it St. Valentine’s Day, just proving we’re trying to sterilize the name to make sure we can hock everyone to buy this crap. What’s next? Patty’s Day?? Has Easter been officially changed to be called “Fluffy Bunny Day” so we can all buy cards?

Bah humbug, that’s what I say! Who’s with me?

 

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About the author: Richard Lavene

 

 

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