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How To Get A Girl To Like You: Where Guys Go Wrong

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Girls at cocktail party

Throughout life, you’ve undoubtedly learned many great things that have helped shape you into the man you are today. However, the one area where your education might be lacking is in something very basic to your happiness as a guy – How to get a girl to like you.

You’re not alone. Most guys grow up without getting that type of training or advice, regardless of whether they have a father or father figure in their life. Why? Most fathers don’t have the answers either and simply tell their son what they think “might” work, or avoid the conversation altogether because they don’t want to cause any added problems. Without knowing how to get girls to like him, a guy will naturally begin trying out different approaches to see what works, such as being really nice, being a nice friend or asking girls out in a shy way. When he has no luck with those approaches and finds that he keeps getting rejected or dumped, it can lead him to feel frustrated, desperate and even angry at women for not liking him for the good guy that he is. With nowhere else to turn, he will usually turn to TV and movies for some advice.

Real Life vs. Television and Movies
Many modern men make the mistake of assuming that TV shows or movies shows about romance and dating, especially the type that women love to watch, must contain the key of how to get girls to like them. Yet, TV shows and movies are the creation of scriptwriters who often like to fantasize about the way they would like things to work, or how provide a fantasy situation for the viewers to enjoy.

What you see on TV and in the movies is mostly about entertainment and fantasy. It’s not a true education source of what guys need to know about getting girls to like them. The writers often base their stories upon what sells to producers, advertisers and audiences. It’s not based on any real expertise or designed as a step-by-step educational program for the viewers to learn about how to be successful in their dating and relationship life. It’s designed to get people to laugh, grimace, feel sorry for the characters, cry and feel a wide range of emotions, so that they then go and tell their friends and family to watch it too, or so they tune into the next episode. If you’ve been watching TV shows and movies to learn how to get a girl to like you, just know that you’ve been looking in the wrong place.

The male characters in TV sitcoms and movies often behave in awkward ways around women because that is what makes an audience laugh or feel sorry for the character. The audience will keep watching because it makes them feel good about themselves (for being better than that guy) or because they feel sorry for the guy and hope that he redeems himself by the end of the episode, series or movie. Where a lot of modern men go wrong is in copying the “loveable loser” characters from TV and the movies and hoping that girls will like them just like they did for the guy on TV. A classic example of this is when guys develop a persona about themselves of being really, really nice, polite and friendly around women and doing favors for women (like the “loveable losers” do in the movies), with the hope that women will like them for it. Yet, in the real world, all a guy usually gets from a woman with this approach is a friendship or her taking advantage of his kindness.

Is It Okay To Be Nice?
A lot of guys get confused about the whole Nice Guy vs. Bad Boy issue and assume that being nice to women will get you rejected. That couldn’t be further from the truth. You should be good to women, but you also have to add something else into the mix called confidence.

You’ve probably heard many girls say that they want to be with a nice guy. However, when many guys display what they think is nice guy behavior, girls either ignore them, take advantage of them or just see them as a friend. Why is that? You see, when a girl says that she wants a nice guy, she is not saying that she wants a nice guy who is nervous around her or others, places her above him in terms of value, importance and dominance and basically does whatever she says. To a girl, a nice guy (in the romantic sense) is one who is confident, cool, charismatic, alpha, but also nice. If you talk to girls and they feel your emotional weakness and insecurity, they aren’t going to be sexually attracted to you no matter how nice you are to them. Women are attracted to the strength in men, not the weakness. So, if you want girls to appreciate how good of a guy you are and want to be your girlfriend as a result of that, then you must first ensure that she feels attraction to your strength as a guy. In other words, she feels attracted to your confidence, social intelligence and masculinity.

Contrary to what a lot of “nice guys” think, behaving like jerk or a bad boy is not how to get a girl to like you. You don’t need to be a bad boy or a jerk, you just need to be strong (mentally and emotionally). The reason girls often go for bad boys and jerks over nice guys, is that there are no “real men” around to choose from. A real man is a strong man who is also a good guy. However, when there are none of those guys available, most women would rather hook up with a bad boy than be with an emotionally weak or wimpy nice guy. Why? Women are attracted to the strength in men, not the weakness. Your strength is a sexual turn on for women, so being a wimpy nice guy will never get you anywhere.

“Money Can’t Buy Me Love”
The legendary group, The Beatles, were absolutely correct with their ‘60s classic hit, “Can’t Buy Me Love.” Many guys assume that the way to get a girl to like them is to buy her affection with gifts or displays of wealth. When a guy is constantly pursuing a woman by buying her gifts, taking her out to fancy restaurants, spending money on luxury getaways or doing other things that will empty his wallet – even if he can afford it – essentially, what he’s trying to do is to buy a woman’s love.

Women want to fall in love with you, not with gifts, places and things. A real man understands that he the best “gift” a woman will ever want. Just by being the great guy that he is, a woman will feel like the luckiest woman on Earth. She’ll feel the jealousy of her female friends and the pride of her family when she introduces them to him. However, if all you’ve got to offer a girl is gifts, going places and doing things, but are not a man she’ll feel proud to introduce to others, then her interest in you will only ever be shallow and temporary. Sure, there are girls who will “allow” a guy to buy her attention for a while until he runs out of money, but that’s not the type of woman a man like you should want in the long or the short run. It’s certainly not the type of woman that a real man would accept. A real man has his choice of women and gets the pick of the bunch because he has what women really want. What is that? Emotional strength, alpha male thinking, behavior and actions, confidence, charisma and the ability to make her feel girly around him because he is so masculine.

Getting Lucky
Sometimes, even if a guy is insecure, lacking confidence and pretty hopeless with girls, he will manage to “get lucky” and make some progress with a girl. A classic situation is where a guy meets a girl and she gives him her phone number, e-mail address or becomes his friend on Facebook or any other social media site. From his perspective, he’s just scored and he will begin fantasizing about her becoming his girlfriend and them having sex together. Yet, from her perspective, she still has to analyze him a lot more to find out whether he’s a confident guy or not.

If he’s an emotionally needy or insecure guy, she will naturally lose interest with each message, text or call he makes from that point on. Why? She’ll sense his neediness and insecurity in the way he texts and since women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness, she will naturally begin to lose interest. He’ll most-likely call or text her throughout the day, every day, instead of letting her miss him and want to contact him first. He’ll post cute notes on her Facebook page all the time, to the point where she feels as though he’s acting like the girl in the relationship. His approach is so girly and lacking in masculinity that he feels more like one of her girlfriends rather than masculine boyfriend. He might even go as far as e-mailing or private messaging her repeatedly with romantic thoughts about their relationship and future together. From his perspective, he feels like he’s letting her know how much he cares. Yet, from her perspective, she feels smothered and confused about her feelings. Something just doesn’t feel right to her.

What most guys don’t know about getting girls to like them is that, during the dating phases and during a relationship, girls want to experience the emotions that come with missing a guy. They want to chase him a bit and feel like they are lucky to be with him, rather than feeling as though they are doing him a favor by being his girlfriend because he’s so needy and no other girl would like him. If you want to get a girl to like you, just remember to let her be the girl while you focus on being as confident and masculine as you can. If you do that, things will quickly and naturally move from one phase to the next until she is your girlfriend.

Dan Bacon is a dating expert and the founder of The Modern Man, a company which has helped 1,000s of men achieve success with women. He has a book called The Flow and 10 additional training programs about success with women, dating and relationships in the modern world.

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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. punom

    January 11, 2014 at 11:49 pm

    If you talk to girls and they feel your emotional weakness and insecurity, they aren’t going to be sexually attracted to you no matter how nice you are to them. Women are attracted to the strength in men, not the weakness

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Thong Battle

Thong Battle: 05/22/18 – 05/29/18

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Welcome to the Thong Battle! Every Tuesday, you guys get to vote on which thonged beauty you prefer. The winner moves on to next week to face off against another competitor.

Last week’s Thong Battle was another blowout, with our reigning Champ running away with over 60% of the votes. Can she keep this winning streak going for another week and retire in the top spot, or will our fantASStic newcomer Ruby finally send her packing?

Both of these Instagram smokeshows have incredible asses, but only one can move on to the next round. Cast your vote now and let us know who should move on to next week’s battle!

1 – Champion

2 – Challenger

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Thong Battle

Thong Battle: 05/15/18 – 05/22/18

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Welcome to the Thong Battle! Every Tuesday, you guys get to vote on which thonged beauty you prefer. The winner moves on to next week to face off against another competitor.

Last week’s Thong Battle was another blowout, with the stunning Laryssa running away with a whopping 80% of the votes. Can she keep this winning streak of hers going for another week, or will our fantASStic newcomer Faith steal the crown from her and send her packing?

Both of these Instagram smokeshows have incredible asses, but only one can move on to the next round. Cast your vote now and let us know who should move on to next week’s battle!

1 – Champion

2 – Challenger

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Be sure to share this post on Facebook and Twitter so we can get as many votes as possible!

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Sex

Worried About Finishing Too Quickly? Here’s How To Last Longer In Bed

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Passionate couple in bed

You finally worked up the nerve to ask out that cutie from accounting. The date is going great, sparks are flying, and she suggests heading back to your place to hang out. It doesn’t take long for the clothes to start flying, and after some quick foreplay, it’s time for the main event. Only you get too worked up and cum almost immediately. Why couldn’t you last longer in bed?!

Look, we’ve all been there at one point or another. Maybe the girl was so far out of your league that you got too excited (like Jim from American Pie). Or maybe it’s been awhile since you’ve had sex, and you just couldn’t control yourself.

Sadly, for some people this is a regular occurrence. If you fall into that category, not to worry, as we’ve got some tips that should help you last longer between the sheets, ensuring that both of you get off and go to sleep with smiles on your faces.

1. Masturbate An Hour Or Two Before Sex

If you’re planning on having sex, it couldn’t hurt to rub one out a few hours beforehand. Why? Because unlike women, when a man ejaculates, his body (ie. balls) needs some time to recover before going for a second round. So if you empty the chamber before the big event, you should be able to go a little longer the next time around.

2. Take Care Of Her Needs First

It’s a known fact that women take longer to reach climax, so if you’re typically a little quick on the draw, focus on foreplay and getting her off first. Trust me, if you go down on her (sorry DJ Khaled) and focus on giving her the big O, then no matter what happens afterwards, she’s still going to be a satisfied customer who will likely be coming back for more.

3. Slow Things Down If You Need To

If you sense that you’re about to go past the point of no return, tell your partner that you need to slow down. You can say to her, “You’re so hot. I’m not going to last long if we keep this up,” and stimulate her orally or manually until you have regained control of the situation and are ready to continue. Trust me, she’ll appreciate your candor, and the fact that you’re looking out for her enjoyment as well.

4. Use A Desensitizing Spray

If you’re still struggling on how to last longer in bed, consider trying a desensitizing spray like Promescent for lasting longer during lovemaking. The spray absorbs into the skin in a matter of minutes, optimally desensitizing the penis and allowing for better control with negligible loss of sensitivity, so you can keep the party going a bit longer.

5. Try The Squeeze Technique

As the name suggests, the squeeze technique involves physically squeezing your penis (ouch) to stop yourself from cumming too soon when you feel your orgasm coming on. Simply stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis, applying firm pressure with your thumb and forefinger for about 5-10 seconds. Done right, this will temporarily decrease sexual tension, which represses the ejaculation response.

So there you have it, five tips to help you increase your sexual performance and help you and your partner get more satisfaction in the bedroom. And if all else fails, it might be time to discuss your premature ejaculation issues with a doctor.

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