The Worst Horror Remakes/Reboots of All Time

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Last week, I compiled my list of some of the best horror movie remakes/reboots of all time. I thought of this because of the new Chucky trailer that hit the web. I gave you some true gems last week, and I’m happy to say that I can add another movie to that list. I recently watched the reboot of the Evil Dead franchise, and it was truly wonderful. Though the movie wasn’t as funny as the original, it was genuinely scary. Check it out!

Alas, here is my list for some of the worst remakes/reboots of all time, because they all can’t be good.

The Worst

  1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre – I’m not just going to throw this movie under the bus. There hasn’t been a good Leatherface movie since the original. There were some crappy ones in 1986 and 1990, and an absolutely horrible starring Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger. (If you want a laugh, check that out!) So they were pretty bad, but in 2003 I was hopeful that they’d be able to reboot the franchise. If you put Jessica Biel and a chainsaw wielding madman in a movie together, I imagined big things. Instead, we got cheap thrills and predictable characters. The only bright spot of this film is R. Lee Ermey as Sheriff Hoyt. Ermey is perfect for the crooked cop role, and who doesn’t love to hear him yell? This movie was supposed to be a start of a franchise, but if you put emotionless Eric Balfour as one of the leads then we’re in some big trouble. They’ve made a few other Texas Chainsaw movies since 2003, and they’ve all been terrible. Sometimes, nothing beats an original.
  2. The Amityville Horror – Usually I’m a Ryan Reynolds fan, but he was incredibly miscast in 2005’s remake of The Amityville Horror. Reynolds trying to play a father becoming possessed by demons to kill his family just doesn’t resinate with me or much of the critics. What made the 1979 original so scary was the performance by James Brolin as George Lutz. We don’t see many things pop up and scare us, we see a father being possessed to murder his family, just like the previous family. We have to believe Reynolds, and I just have trouble believing him. This movie falls flat, and I wonder in 10 years if this movie will be rebooted again.
  3. Prom Night – Normally I won’t go out of my way to watch a PG-13 horror, but this movie came out during my high school career and was popular among our friends. I think this might be one of the worst horror movies of all time. Prom Night was supposed to scare the hell out of not just high schoolers. It doesn’t even come close to the original Prom Night with scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis as the lead and funny man Leslie Nielsen as Curtis’s father. Lets sub these legends with John Tucker Must Die’s Brittany Snow (who looks a lot better than she acts) and Twilight’s and soon to be Hercules Kellen Lutz. This movie is a yawn fest, with unlikable characters and predictable plot lines. Maybe this movie could be better with an R-Rating, but it’s truly a yawn fest. I would have had rather skipped my own prom, if I could have skipped this movie. It’s just bad. Awful. Even Idris Elba couldn’t save this movie.

Honorable Mentions: The Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), Psycho (1998), The Wicker Man (2006). Though I’ll cut Wicker Man some slac, because it is truly hilarious.

So that’s my list for the worst horror remakes of all time. Is there any that I forgot? Do you think I hit the nail on the coffin with these three films?

 

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About the author: Corey Panati

 

Corey Panati is a student at York College, and he's also the latest addition to Guys Gab. He's excited to bring his love of sports and movies to a browser near you. If you're on Twitter, you can follow his ramblings @coreypanati

 

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