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Down and Dirty Decor: How To Transform Your Crib Into A Sexual Jungle



stylish bedroom layout

Your apartment, condo, or house is one of the biggest first impressions you make on any woman who sees it. If you’re sloppy and have an ugly or simple pad, you’re unlikely to get any further. On the flip side, if you just spend a bit of effort classing up the place, it’s an opportunity to impress and intrigue any potential guests. Here are some of the best additions you can make to your place.

Include a Reclining Sofa in Your Living Room

Getting a bigger pad in any major city is expensive. Most of the time you’ll be better off making the best of what space you do have. One novelty hack that’ll not only save you space but make sitting and getting to know someone a lot more comfortable is a reclining sofa. Relax, lean back, and stretch out.

Hang Up Suggestive Art

Look at any house on MTV Cribs and you’ll see tons of art. You don’t have to care about it, but it enhances the overall look and feel of your place. For the sake of art is also one of the only acceptable excuses to hang up sexually suggestive pictures around your home. The key here is to balance it out, so hang up some regular art or entertaining pieces, as well. Check out some funny pictures at for inspiration if needed.

Learn How to Play an Acoustic Guitar

Don’t know how to play the guitar? Learn to. You don’t have to be the next Jimi Hendrix, just learn how to strum some basic chords of popular songs. Rockstars are sexy, so sing a few well-known choruses and you’ll be having an intimate ‘jam session’ with your lady guest in no time.

Keep Your Crib Clean With a Roomba

Do you know what women love? Cute things and clean houses. A Roomba is a little robot vacuum that will keep your place spotless. To top things off, it’s small and cute. Impress any guests with a spotless floor and your personal robot cleaner. If you want to take it to the next level of impressive, take a suggestion from Parks and Recreation and strap an iPod to it to create DJ Roomba.

Put Up Mirrors on the Ceilings

Mirrors serve two purposes in home design. First, they make the room seem bigger and brighter than it is. Secondly, people like to look at themselves. Don’t just put up mirrors randomly around your place; put them somewhere different like the ceiling, preferably above your bed. It’s the perfect excuse for you to lie down on your bed with your next guest.

Control the Temps With a Dyson Heater and Fan

There’s nothing less inviting than a freezing place in the winter or a sauna during the summer. Dyson makes heaters and fans all in one that incorporate its infamous bladeless design. If your building’s temperature control isn’t up to par, consider buying one of these heaters and fans. Being the master of temperature can have its advantages, including being able to turn up the heat.

Build a Full Bar

While it isn’t the most affordable option to class up your place, a fully stocked bar really can’t be beat. If you consider the money you’ll save by pre-gaming, it might even pay for itself over time. The real luxury is being able to tell any girl you’re interested in that you have a way cooler bar back at your place. It also comes with a bonus of learning how to make drinks and how to do cool bartending tricks.

Invest in Some Window Shades

While you may not give two thoughts about how your windows are covered, any lady visitors will. Investing in some frilly looking curtains for your bedroom will give any guests an excuse to cover the windows. And as an added bonus, most quality curtains block out all light trying to enter your room that disturbs your sleep, so you won’t have to be worried about waking up too early after a long night.

Incorporate at least a few of the awesome accessories in this article and your place will be seduction central in no time. Remember that your place reflects your personality, so draw out the best of it.