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Some New Features Facebook Should Consider Adding



Our friends over at just put out a funny piece that I’m sure you guys can relate to. Aren’t you tired of all the bullshit that people post on Facebook? Us too! Johnny’s decided to create some new Facebook buttons that take care of all that doucebaggery in a single click. Check ’em out below:

The I’m Sick of Hearing About Your Baby Button

This button is for those new parents that like to share every detail about their baby’s life. It may be fascinating to the parents and other immediate family but its boring as shit to anyone else.  Next time you read something like this…

Annoying Parents on Facebook

Just hit the I’m sick of hearing about your baby button and help put a stop to this epidemic.

The Just Say What’s Bothering You Already! Button

I see this a lot.  Someone makes a subtle remark on a status update, suggesting they are very upset about something but doesn’t give any more details about it.  Below is a good example of this…

bothered on facebook

Usually it’s some dumb woman who just wants attention and wants everyone to ask her what’s wrong.  Since I never want to contribute and give her the attention she so desperately craves, I resist the urge to ask what happened, even though I’m nosey and want to know…When someone does ask, they usually just respond by saying “Oh, I don’t want to get into it on here.”  If you wanted to keep your problems private then why even write about it in the first place on Facebook?

I’m Not Impressed You’re at the Gym Button

For the morons on Facebook who like to advertise every time they are the gym. You are  just attention-starved and just looking for praise any way you can get it.  I stalked your photos on Facebook last week and you still look pretty fat to me.  Maybe spend more time using equipment while you’re there and less time updating your status.

Facebook gym posts

The Learn How to Write Button

This button if for someone who has a status update with such poor grammar and spelling that you are shocked that they were able to get out of high school.

facebook spelling fails

The Shut the Fuck Up Button

This is the most versatile of the suggested Facebook buttons. It can be used in so many ways. It can be used for that person who likes to complain about the smallest obstacle in his/her life or the person who likes to shove his/her religion or political affiliation in your face every day…or for someone just being generally annoying.   Anytime you see something like this, which is a lot, hit that STFU button.

facebook dislike button shut up

The I’m Removing You as a Friend Button

This is pretty self-explanatory. It’s for that status update that puts you over the edge and makes you either hide this person’s updates or remove him/her all together.  This is for when the STFU button is just not enough.  Why be discreet about it? Let this person know he/ she is completely insufferable and you’re not going to take it anymore.

remove facebook friend

If you wanna check out the rest of these ingeniously buttons, check out Johny Sacks’ site for the entire post on Suggested New Facebook Buttons.

Trent Carter is looking to keep the tradition of T&A alive and well in today's politically correct world with his popular Thong Battle features, among other things. He also covers even racier topics on our sister site, which is definitely not safe for work!

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