9 Tips to Keeping Your Girlfriend Happy

Having the right girl by your side is indispensable. Just knowing that no matter what happens in your life or business, there’s at least one person that has your back. Having that one person in your corner can make all the difference. To push you. To lift your spirit. To give it to you straight. And to provide that unwavering support.

I think I’m finally starting to figure things out with women and relationships. Truthfully, fellas, they are not as difficult as we think. Although I’ve had a few long term relationships in my life, I still have a long way to go in understanding how to be a good partner. I’m of the opinion that you should “fill your cup first” before you bring someone into your life for a serious long-term relationship. 

For the last few months, I’ve been diving deep into this topic – talking to couples, women, men, dating coaches, relationship experts – all to figure out what makes a relationship work. I think all you gents can agree – understanding what women want sometimes can be challenging AF…

There is good news though – women share fundamental traits and biological emotions that once you begin to understand, it becomes easier to create and maintain stronger partnerships while avoiding the common mistakes we all make.  

Here are 9 powerful tips to keeping your girlfriend happy so you can begin to have a more blissful, healthier relationship.

Tip #1: Find the Right Girl 

They say you get out what you put into something, and it’s no different with relationships. But before you go investing your all into a girl, make sure she’s the right one for you. This is by far the most important tip I can offer. Find someone who truly values and appreciates you. 

Oftentimes, we settle or lower our standards simply because we don’t think any one person can “check all our boxes”. That’s simply not true. I don’t believe you should ever compromise what you are looking for in a partner. Especially if you know your non-negotiables. Do not lower your standards. You have to know what you bring to the table and make sure she is willing to meet you at your level. 

You know that you will be a strong, supportive partner and she would be lucky to have a guy like you. So before anything, make sure she truly is your ride or die girl before you go all in.  

Tip #2: Keep Things Fun and Adventurous

Remember when you first met? How exciting and fun it was. Every experience was an adventure, not knowing where things would lead. There was mystery and uncertainty along with a sense of discovery for one another – learning new things daily about each other. Women love this sense of mystery. It keeps them intrigued and interested to uncover more. This sense of enigma is very attractive. 

After a few months or years of dating, this tends to wear off. It usually happens because we get comfortable and stop paying attention to it. But It’s up to you to re-create this sense of excitement. Remember the things that initially attracted you to one another. Find new ways to connect, discover and create those fun moments. Role playing, spontaneous date nights and travel are all great ways to learn new things about each other..

Tip #3: Actions Over Words

The challenge for most guys is that women don’t tell us what they want. Or worse, they say one thing, then behave completely differently. When it comes to romance, women make decisions with their emotions – how they feel about something versus how they think about it. 

I’m a big believer in actions over words. Always. If you make false promises or break your word, she will take notice. It’s never a good look on you. Showing her that you appreciate her and are thinking about her versus just telling her will make a much bigger impact. She will watch what you do instead of focusing on what you say. 

There are a few ways to do this. Pay attention to the things she loves and then make those things happen for her. You can surprise her at work to take her on an exciting weekend getaway. Another way to show her is by recognizing her latest achievement or milestone and making a point to go celebrate it.  

Tip #4: Show Her Empathy

Women offer a very unique perspective, but it can be difficult to know what they’re thinking and what they want from us at times. Life would be a heck of a lot easier if they just told us, right? Slim chance. So instead, acknowledge and share in her feelings. You’d be surprised how easy it is to create good dialogue just by showing her you understand how she feels and are listening – real “empathy”. 

More often than not, it’s the emotions behind the words that cause frustration or conflict. Showing that you understand those feelings, will instantly get you on the same wavelength as her and make it easier to have open communication. This cannot be faked or inauthentic in any way though or it will backfire.     

Tip #5: Be Genuine in your Apologies

The moment you realize you’ve messed up, apologize swiftly and genuinely for it. Take time to reflect on what caused it, don’t just make it seem like a senseless reaction. Slight disclaimer here – don’t be the guy that’s always apologizing and supplicating. If you agree that you could’ve handled it better, admit it. Verbalize it. If you don’t, then say so and talk about it – it’s not worth faking. And be careful not to dilute your apologies by over-using them. Although I agree that it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, every girl has her limit on the number of apologies she’s willing to tolerate. 

Tip #6: Learn to Communicate Effectively

I know what you’re thinking – this is such a cliché. Of course, communication is important to any relationship. What I’m talking about here is a little deeper though. Real, cavernous communication that expresses authentic feelings. Giving her the space to also be authentic with you. Not allowing emotions to subdue and fester up later in unproductive ways that may lead to arguments. 

As difficult as it is, and personally one of my biggest hurdles, controlling your emotions to wholeheartedly communicate your thoughts is so healthy. We tend to say very hurtful things when we’re angry. Things we may not always mean. Some things cannot be unsaid and better to instill calm, clear dialogue whenever something is on your mind or bothering you. Maintain respect for each other and get to a place of clear, calm communication while never holding thing in. 

Tip #7: Always Do What You Say 

Keeping the promises you make, not only to your girl, but to yourself, will propel your relationships forward. Your self-confidence immediately increases. You’re at our best when you have confidence in yourself. When we deliver on our promises, it builds trust. To yourself and to everyone around you. 

Your word means something, and she sees it. When you say you’re going to do something, do it. When you give your word, keep it. No matter how small and regardless who’s listening – especially if it’s just you. When you have a reputation for always doing what you say, it pays dividends in all areas of your life – especially romantic relationships. 

Tip #8: Do NOT Try to Fix Her Problems

As men, it’s our natural born instinct to hear a problem and immediately try to solve it (sorry ladies, we just can’t help ourselves). It took me a while to learn this, but it turns out that when women come to you to talk about their problems, they just want you to listen. Not to fix it. So unless she asks you, just shut up, listen, acknowledge and give her a shoulder to cry on if she needs it. An easy way to avoid this issue is to simply ask her; “are you just venting to me or do you want me to offer solutions?”.

Tip #9: Celebrate Her Strengths

This goes for both sides (as with most things on this list). When your girlfriend does something you like or admire, make sure you make it known. Celebrate it. I know that the closest relationships I had/have with women is with ones that make it a point to acknowledge when I say or do something positive. It could be as simple as defending a friend when they’re not around or a random act of kindness to a stranger. 

Taking it a step further, it could be something they do around the house to make your life easier, an endearing gesture or a simple habit you create knowing that it brings a smile to her face — “I just love the way you take care of your little brother” or “thank you for thinking about me in the morning and tiptoeing around so you don’t wake me up”.