Whether you’ve met a girl in person (which I prefer for everyone) or through a dating app, the first date is critical. Most guys make very little effort to ensure they have a good first date and, more importantly, a chance at a second date. With a few easy steps, you can set yourself apart from the rest of the boring or just plain “lazy” guy that she’s used to dating.
Here are a few simple things you can do to make sure you have a killer first date experience.
#1 Plan Your Date
A little planning and thought goes a long way. I’m shocked at how many guys try to wing it on the first date. For example, if you are going for dinner, make the reservation in person or go in and have a drink the night before. When you’re there, ask to meet the manager, introduce yourself and let her/him know that you’re trying out their restaurant for your first date. Request a nice table (I usually ask for the best seat in the house, but everyone has their own preference here). Meet some of the wait staff if you can, ideally meet the person who will be serving you.
It’s always nice to mention that you are on a first date and want to impress this girl. They will root for you and you’ll be amazed how they rally behind you and how invested they get to make you look good. Plus, as a corny bonus, when you walk in, say hi to the manager, bartender and any other people, this will impress her and show that you have great charisma.
#2 Dress Up
As cliche as it is, you do only get one first impression. Even if you’ve already been chatting prior to the date, an in-person date supersedes that. What you wear says a lot about you, whether you like it or not. Women take the time to do their hair, makeup, shave their legs and probably try on 13 different outfits before picking the one she ends up wearing. I understand most men just want to be comfortable, but it’s time to start dressing better fellas, and putting equal effort into your outfits and appearance.
Make sure it represents who you are and what you want to tell the world about yourself. Let her know she is on a date with a man and not a little boy that needs his girlfriend (or worse, mother!) to dress him. Men oftentimes don’t put enough thought into this. It doesn’t have to be stuffy like a suit and tie but elevate your style to more than just what you wear to a typical night out with the guys.
#3 Have Good Conversation Topics Lined Up
I never leave anything to chance when it comes to dating. Unless you’re one of those guys that have really good game and conversational skills, where it just comes natural to you, it’s good to have interesting topics, intriguing questions and deeper conversation ideas lined up. Good for the cases where you find yourself at an awkward silence or in need of changing the subject. The goal on the first date is to escalate the conversation from social comfort to genuine connection.
You want to control where it goes and make it as favorable for you as possible, highlighting your attractive masculine qualities – ie. fun, intelligent, ambitious, competent, experienced, etc… Women are different from men when it comes to attraction. Guys get turned on a lot differently than women. We see boobs and are turned on. Women aren’t like that. From my experience, they get turned on “emotionally” – through what you say and how you carry yourself.
Have some fun stories about your travels or adventures along with good stories about your personal life lined up. And make sure that when you’re talking about yourself, you find ways to relate it back to her. Something as simple as “you get it, you have siblings, right?”.
#4 Do NOT Split the Bill
This is quite simple – just pay the bill, bro. No going Dutch here. Commit to yourself that if the girl you’re taking out on a date is special enough for dinner and a conversation, then she’s special enough for you to just pay for it. Even if you know there won’t be a second date. Don’t ask and do not make it awkward or hesitate. Man up. This is your chance to show how you take control of a situation. If she tries to pay, reaches for her wallet or insists on splitting it, take this as a good sign (I actually use this as a test to see if she’s a keeper ;). Don’t make a big deal out of it. Even if the date was a disaster – just take care of it. Splitting the bill on a first date is the best way to kill the vibe – especially when you are actually into her and planning for a second date.
These may seem like very basic first date behaviors, but now more than ever, with women being bombarded on dating apps, it’s so easy to dismiss you as “another typical guy”. So stand out, show her that you are an experienced man and not some horny little boy who has no clue what he’s doing. And remember, the most important thing is to have fun – don’t overthink it and take things too seriously on a first date.