Billionaire’s Bizarre Dating Advice Instantly Becomes Internet Gold

Reve AI

Listen, we’ve all been there. You’re scrolling through social media, minding your own business, when suddenly a billionaire hedge fund manager decides he’s cracked the code on modern dating. Spoiler alert: He has not.

Enter billionaire hedge-funder Bill Ackman, an apparent expert on young people’s romantic struggles. Over the weekend, Ackman took to X/Twitter to share his wisdom with the dating-challenged. His concern? The “online culture has destroyed the ability to spontaneously meet strangers.” And he’s not wrong about that.

But then things got reallllly weird..

The Line That Launched a Thousand Memes

Ackman’s big solution to the modern dating crisis? A pickup line straight from what we can only assume was the 1950s finishing school for extremely polite robots: “May I meet you?”

That’s it. That’s the line. Not “Hey, how’s it going?” Not even a classic “Can I buy you a drink?” Nope. Ackman went full Jane Austen protagonist at a Victorian ball.

According to the billionaire himself, this grammatically impeccable approach worked wonders back in his youth, claiming he “almost never got a No.” He credited his success to “proper grammar and politeness,” which honestly sounds like something a chatbot would say after being trained exclusively on Emily Post etiquette guides.

The Internet Does What the Internet Does

Naturally, the internet immediately recognized comedy gold when it saw it. Within hours, “May I meet you?” became the hottest meme template since “OK Boomer,” with users imagining hilariously awkward scenarios featuring Ackman’s formal greeting.

The responses ranged from comparing it to a vampire asking permission to enter your home (which, let’s be honest, has the same energy) to imagining it being used in increasingly absurd situations. Some suggested it sounded more like the beginning of a police interrogation than a romantic overture.

The Bigger Picture

To be fair to Ackman, he insisted he was just “an older happily married guy concerned about our next generation’s happiness and population replacement rates.” Nothing says “casual dating advice” quite like bringing up population replacement rates, right? Really sets a romantic mood.

The whole episode perfectly captures the disconnect between billionaires who made their fortunes in a different era and the young people navigating dating apps, situationships, and the general chaos of modern romance. Sure, Ackman’s heart might’ve been in the right place, but his delivery was about as smooth as sandpaper.

The Verdict

Look, we appreciate anyone trying to help the next generation connect in meaningful ways. Dating today can be brutal, and maybe there’s something to be said for bringing back a little old-school courtesy. But “May I meet you?” sounds less like a pickup line and more like something you’d say before serving someone with legal papers.

The real lesson here? If you’re going to dispense dating advice on the web, maybe workshop it with some actual young people first. Or at the very least, someone who’s used a dating app within the last decade.

As for the rest of us? We’ll stick with “Hi, I’m [name]” and let the billionaires stick to what they know best: making money and becoming memes.

Bottom line: Bill Ackman tried to help. The internet turned him into a meme. Circle of life continues. May we all meet you in more ways than one.