Real Talk With Guys Gab: Suffering From Dating App Fatigue

Real Talk With Guys Gab

Straight answers for men who aren’t afraid to ask the hard questions

Welcome to Real Talk With Guys Gab, our new advice column where we tackle the questions you’re struggling with. Life doesn’t come with a manual, and navigating your late 20s, 30s, and beyond means dealing with curveballs you didn’t see coming – relationships that feel more complicated than they should, career moves that keep you up at night, financial decisions that make your head spin, and everything in between.

Each week, we answer real questions from real readers who are figuring it out just like you are. Whether you’re wrestling with a tough decision, looking for a fresh perspective, or just need to know you’re not the only one dealing with something, we’ve got you. Send us your questions, and we’ll give you honest guidance from the Guys Gab perspective.

1. Career Crossroads

Q: I’ve been at my job for five years and I’m good at it, but I’m bored out of my mind. A startup reached out about a role that sounds exciting but pays 20% less and has way less stability. I’m 32 with a mortgage. Am I crazy to consider this?

A: You’re not crazy, you’re human. Boredom at work is soul-crushing, and five years is long enough to know when something isn’t working anymore. But here’s the thing: excitement fades, mortgages don’t. Before you jump, get real about your financial cushion. Can you survive six months without income if the startup tanks? If yes, the risk might be worth it.

If no, see if you can negotiate that salary gap or ask for stock options. Also, consider whether there are other opportunities at your current workplace. Sometimes a lateral move or a chat with your boss about new projects can reignite things. Remember, the grass isn’t always greener, sometimes it’s just different grass. But if you’ve genuinely outgrown where you are and can afford the gamble, calculated risks are how careers evolve.

2. Dating App Fatigue

Q: I’ve been using dating apps for two years and I’m burnt out. The conversations go nowhere, dates feel like job interviews, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m the problem. Should I just delete everything and try meeting people the old-fashioned way?

A: Dating app fatigue is a very real thing, and two years without success can get to the best of us. Taking a break might be exactly what you need, as burnout makes you worse at dating, not better. But before you delete everything, audit your approach. Are your profile photos recent and high-quality? Is your bio actually saying something about who you are, or is it boring and generic? (Show it to a female friend and get her take on it) Are you sending thoughtful first messages or just “hey”? Sometimes the issue isn’t the app, it’s the strategy you’re employing.

That said, meeting people in real life absolutely still works. Where should you go to meet women? You can join a recreational sports league, take a class in something you’re interested in, join a few Meetup groups, say yes to social events even when you would rather stay home, or simply hit a popular bar for Happy Hour. The “old-fashioned way” requires putting yourself in situations where conversations happen naturally. Dress for success, be fun and social, and see where things take you.

3. Gym Intimidation

Q: I want to start lifting weights but I feel like everyone at the gym knows what they’re doing except me. How do I get over feeling like an idiot?

A: First, let me tell you a secret: most people at the gym are too focused on their own workout to notice yours. And the ones who do notice? Half of them are remembering when they were exactly where you are. Start with a simple program, StrongLifts 5×5 or Starting Strength are both beginner-friendly. Watch form videos on YouTube, start with lighter weights than you think you need, and focus on nailing the technique. You can also go to the gym during off-peak hours when it’s less crowded until you build confidence.

If your gym offers a free training session, use it to learn the basics. Or hire a personal trainer for a few months who can show you the ropes until you feel more comfortable lifting on your own. Here’s the truth: everyone who’s jacked now was once the person who didn’t know how to adjust the bench. The only way out is through, and every rep gets you closer to feeling like you belong there.

4. New Car Dilemma

Q: My car is paid off and runs fine, but it’s 10 years old and I want something newer. My practical side says keep driving it, but I’m tired of being the guy with the oldest car in the parking lot. What’s the move?

A: This is ego versus economics, and the answer depends on your financial situation. If you’re debt-free, have a six-month emergency fund, and can afford a new car without stretching your budget, then go for it. Life’s short, and driving something you enjoy matters. But if buying a new car means high car payments that will stretch you thin, your practical side is right.

Here’s a middle ground: get your current car detailed, fix any cosmetic issues, and see if that scratches the itch. Or save up and buy something lightly used in cash – you get the upgrade without the financial burden. The “oldest car in the parking lot” thing is all in your head. Nobody cares what you drive as much as you think they do. Make the decision based on your wallet and your happiness, not what you think people are thinking.

5. Wedding Guest Etiquette

Q: I’m invited to a destination wedding that’s going to cost me over $2,000 with flights and hotel. I like the couple, but we’re not super close. Is it okay to decline without causing drama?

A: Absolutely. Destination weddings are expensive, and anyone throwing one knows that not everyone will be able to swing it. Decline politely: “Thanks so much for the invitation, I’d love to be there but unfortunately can’t make it work. Wishing you both an amazing day.” Send a thoughtful gift from their registry and move on. If they make it weird, that’s on them, not you.

You’re not obligated to go into debt for someone else’s wedding, especially someone you’re not super close with. They will understand. And honestly, most couples are so overwhelmed with their own wedding logistics that they won’t give your absence a second thought. Don’t let guilt pressure you into a financial decision you’ll regret.

6. Tough Relationship Conversation

Q: I’ve been seeing this girl for about two months, and things are going great. But out of nowhere, she says she’d “feel more comfortable” if I deleted my Instagram because women are liking my photos. I post gym stuff and travel pics, nothing wild. Is this normal early relationship insecurity or a major red flag?

A: Look, if deleting your Instagram is her idea of “comfort,” that’s not comfort.. that’s control with a soft smile. 2 months in is the honeymoon phase of a relationship. You should be seeing her best behavior, not page one of the rulebook. This isn’t about your IG posts. This is about her anxiety, jealousy, or past experiences, none of which are your responsibility to fix by nuking your social life.

Healthy partners ask for conversations, not shutdowns. What you say to her: “I’m happy to talk about what’s bothering you, but deleting my social media isn’t the solution.” If that triggers drama instead of dialogue, then it’s time to see the red flags and decide if you’re going to put up with it (don’t do it!) or move on.

Got a question for us? We want to hear from you. Whether you’ve got questions about dating, cars, money, fashion, work, fitness, confidence, awkward guy stuff, or anything else, we have got you covered. We’ll tackle them with honesty, practical advice, and zero judgment.

Email your questions to us, and it could be featured (anonymously) in an upcoming column!