Dating in 2014 is different than it was in the 90s. Texting, online dating sites, selfie sharing apps, and social media have added a whole new dimension to getting to know someone. The Emily Post Institute reminds us that respect and building a foundation of trust remains important on the dating scene.
When a first date goes well, you may want to see the person again. While hard and fast rules like “wait three days after a date to call” don’t apply anymore, it’s still not a good idea to call right after the first date. Posting to Facebook and texting are equally ill-advised. Keep post-first-date communications private, respectful, and appropriate.
If you want to make a romantic gesture after a first date, send a bouquet of flowers. Relationship expert and author of “Romantic Date Ideas” April Masini agrees. Masini says that sending flowers after the first date shows that the sender wishes to continue the relationship. It can be a nice way to express further interest or ask for a second date.
Try a Handwritten Note
It’s just good manners to express thanks after a job interview, sales call, and other social and business interactions. Now in this day of electronic and digital communications, daters may be tempted to send a text or instant message, but don’t underestimate the power of a simple, sincere handwritten note. A personal note says you took the time to choose a note card, write out your thoughts, and deliver the message, making it meaningful and heartwarming.
What About Texts
Texting a girl after the first date is acceptable, and it might even be expected. Of course, if you did not get the cellphone number directly from the person you went out with and had to do some digging or asking around to get it, it’s probably not a good idea to send a text.
Keep in mind that early morning and late night texts after the first date are not appropriate, and texting at those times is too intimate for someone you just went out with one time.
Nobody likes to play the waiting game, but you should know when to quit. If you don’t get a response to your text, don’t send three, or five, or a whole string of texts. You don’t want to seem too eager or even worse, desperate.
Avoid Dating Faux Pas
As nice as little gestures are after the first date, be sure that your gestures do not turn into something creepy. Make sure anything you do after the first date is respectful, appropriate, and most of all not creepy.
Reflect on your date’s verbal and non-verbal cues during your time together. If the date was a hit, send that note or bouquet of flowers. But, if the date seemed forced or ended on an awkward note, it may be best to move on and skip the kind gesture.
If you don’t know what might be perceived as creepy by your date, don’t do anything without checking with someone first. Share your idea with a good friend, neighbor, or family member before committing, and pay close attention to their reactions. Responses other than “that’s fine” or “that’s nice” should be trashed.
Here’s hoping you get that all-important second date!