Being behind the Player Newsletter I get asked a lot of questions. One of the most common ones, which I get asked almost every day, is:
“Alex, there’s this one woman that I’ve been trying to get for X amount of time, how can I get her to like/love/sleep with me?”
This question can only be asked by someone who really doesn’t understand the whole concept of being a player or has very little success with women. If you are asking yourself a similar question it means that you have a small degree of emotional involvement with this woman and there is something absolutely fundamental that you need to understand.
Yes some women are very hard to get and may require a lot of effort on our part but until a woman has proven her worth (has had sex with you, shown love etc), emotional involvement from your side is a HUGE mistake.
The easiest and fastest way to deal with this is to REALIZE just how special you really are. You’re a busy, intelligent, good looking guy that gets a lot of attention from women, therefore you personally do not have the time to invest feelings in someone that has barely shown interest because, deep down inside you KNOW that she’s really NOT that special.
As always, you should give her a chance, probably the best chance she will ever get – a chance to be with you but if she passes up on the opportunity, you shouldn’t despair, instead you should realize that SHE is the one missing out on something truly amazing – YOU.
This is how your mind should work!
Here’s the sad part. If you are asking yourself this question, it basically means that you will NEVER be able to get “that woman” with your particular mindset. First, you have to realize that if you’re thinking this way, you will almost always fail with women (your only success will come from luck).
The reason you can’t win over this woman is because you don’t yet know how to go out and get 10 more desirable women in a short amount of time. If you DID know how to do that, you would not be obsessed with getting this one woman and you would already know how to answer your own question. Why? Well, think about it.
If you could go out and have 10 (or more) women who are smarter, nicer, more beautiful and more exciting than the one you are obsessing about, how important do you think she would be to you?
You see, you can’t just go from an average guy to being a player without a certain understanding. You have to first admit to yourself that you can’t get women and get into recovery mode. Learn to stop thinking the way you do and start your journey to become a player.
Once the road is clear, you will begin to understand the answer to this question because the reason this question is so difficult for the average guy to grasp is that truly understanding the answer is an epiphany.
This is why I wrote the “Becoming A Player” guide.
So that every guy on this planet can grasp this mindset, will never have this question again, will know how to meet, attract, seduce, lay and keep as many women as he wants.
Yes, apart from most dating guides out there, “Becoming A Player” also teaches you what to do after you’ve slept with them – How to keep those women, how to make them fall for you and more.
This answer also applies to the question:
“I’m interested in a particular girl I know from wherever, can you tell me how to get her to like me/date me/sleep with me?”
Again, you first need to sleep with 10 other women in the next month and then decide afterwards whether you still want to pursue this particular woman. If you already have the skill to bed that many women in a month then you already know the answer to your question.
Otherwise, you need to work on your skills for doing just that – by reading quality information, absorbing and experimenting with the knowledge you learn. Once you’ve done that, the woman you’re pining over now will likely disappear from your mind, knowing that your choice of women has increased vastly.
You might say: “But this is not the case, my situation is different!”
No, it’s the same. There is only one reason why it is exactly the same, even though you might be thinking that it’s not.
The simple fact of the matter is there’s no dating coach on this planet that has SPECIFIC ADVICE on landing “that one girl” – it is IMPOSSIBLE for the people giving and asking advice to pinpoint exactly what makes this one girl “friend” of yours tick, so it would be impossible to say with certainty what to do to get her.
And, if it were possible for you to provide detailed information about her, her mindset, her likes and dislikes etc, then you would have all you need to begin leading her to your bed in the first place and you would not be asking this kind of questions. This means that your problem isn’t “that one girl”, it’s your lack of understanding in general, and being able to diagnose what’s missing in your player skills.
So the answer to your question can never be how to get that one girl, it’s that you need to figure out what player and seduction skills you are lacking and start practicing and applying those missing skills on many other chicks.
The reason I’m saying that you need to sleep with 10 other women is because you will not know what you have to do with her until you have the skills to actually DO IT. It is that simple, and that is the best advice anyone can give on this subject.
This is the mentality that I teach and this question is mainly the reason why I wrote the “Becoming A Player” guide. If you want know how to improve yourself (your mind), meet, attract, seduce, lay and keep as many women as you want – YES as opposed to many other guides out there, mine ALSO teaches you what to do after you’ve slept with them, how to make them fall in love with you, how to keep them by your side – you need to have a look at Becoming A Player.