Many men today are suffering from a condition called “death grip syndrome“, also known as porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED). This problem can cause many issues with sexual satisfaction and can make sexual encounters frustrating and even hinder relationships.
Put simply, death grip makes your penis less sensitive, making it harder to achieve climax. I can say, with confidence, that it’s far better to be too sensitive and climax too early than it is to have to work extra hard to get there. If you’re an early finisher, no worries! Trust me, there are plenty of things you can do to help you pass the time in the bedroom until you’re ready to enjoy your partner again; if you recover quickly you can even enjoy multiple orgasms!
If you have death grip, sex can become really frustrating… for both partners. In mild cases of death grip, you can stay hard but won’t be able to climax. You might feel like you can go on forever, but eventually, your partner will get dry or even sore. After a while, your brain, the most important sexual organ of all, will make it almost impossible to achieve climax until you’ve had a break.
If your death grip is really bad, you may not be able to get hard at all. You can have all of the stimulation you’re after, but your penis won’t respond. It’s super-frustrating and it can start to lead to psychological confidence problems when it comes to intimacy.
Death grip can be a real problem; so how do you get it?
Unlike the vaginal canal, your hand is often far rougher in texture, and is capable of far more intense friction and pressure than traditional sex allows for.
Handjobs are great, when infrequent, but if masturbation is your main sexual outlet and you use your hands to achieve climax, you’ll eventually cause the nerves in your penis to go numb as you continually need to ramp up the friction and intensity to finish. If that happens, you enter a never-ending cycle of continually trying to increase friction and stimulation to make the experience gratifying. This, along with becoming desensitized to porn and continually going further and further down the rabbit hole to find more and more specific pornographic scenes to compensate psychologically for the lack of physical interest will eventually leave you almost completely unable to enjoy masturbation; worst of all it will make enjoying an actual sexual encounter with a partner almost impossible, especially if you use protection!
Using lubricant or lotion with manual stimulation will temporarily help, but eventually leads to the same place. Less friction means more intense squeezing and faster masturbation to try to climax. Eventually, no vagina (or anus or mouth for that matter) is going to grip your penis in the way you’ve been using your hand. You have officially reduced real sexual activity to an exercise in frustration.
Each time you use your hand, your brain links your sexual pleasure to everything surrounding masturbation, including how your hand feels. You can even eventually make your brain prefer your hand over another person’s hand or even their body if you masturbate too much or too intensely. I see this complication incredibly often in my profession.
So, now that we’ve identified death grip / PIED and have talked about the causes, what can we do about them?!
- Stop abusing your penis by either avoiding manual masturbation or using a lifelike sex toy like a Fleshlight or other masturbatory sleeve.
- Rewire your brain by training it to know it can get sexual satisfaction from real sex.
Going cold turkey from masturbation is the best way to start healing your penis, but it’s rough. It will take about 2-4 weeks to start seeing real changes in perceived sensitivity, once you’ve given your penis some time to recuperate. Many men have difficulty going this long without masturbation, however, and it begs the question, what happens once sensitivity returns? How do you take care of your needs?
Something that may be more tolerable is to use a lifelike sex toy like The Fleshlight or another masturbatory sleeve, which are amazing products for this reason. In my opinion, these types of products are hands-down the best male sex toys on the market. If you warm them up before use, lube them with water-based lube, and keep them clean, you will soon find that they’re so much better than your hands for masturbation, with sensations that rival those experienced during intercourse.
Rewiring your brain for real sex can be rather tricky, as most men don’t simply masturbate to their thoughts and fantasies, men are visually stimulated. I’m definitely not anti-porn, but understanding the deleterious effect it can have on your arousal is important, as is realizing that real sex and pornography often have very little in common.
Planning on having a sexual encounter with someone or even visiting me here at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch but have problems with death grip syndrome? You’ll want to make sure that you are actually able to enjoy the experience by following these simple steps:
- Get a Fleshlight or a similar product and buy water-based lube, as silicone-based lube can leave your unit with an odor.
- Commit to not watching porn until this process is finished. If you absolutely must watch porn, watch simple pornography like the kind Hegre Art produces. Avoid hardcore scenes and fetishes as they will continually narrow your sexual focus and make arousal more difficult with a real partner!
- Stop masturbating for about a week. You can do it!
- Take an hour of private time and try out your Fleshlight. Start by warming it up with hot water in accordance with the manufacturer’s directions, then use lube around the entrance and on your shaft. Explore the toy slowly. Tease yourself. Have fun!
- Clean your toy, then put it away for another week. The next time you use it, try to rig up a way where you can thrust into it. You can wedge it between your mattress and box springs, put it in the cushions of a couch, or really just use your imagination. The important thing is to relieve your brain of the notion it needs to feel the movement of your hand and arm to climax; try to use the toy hands-free.
- Four days later, have another hands-free session. If you’re planning on having a protected sexual encounter, like visitors at the ranch do, you’ll want to continue the training but while wearing a condom when using the toy, so your body is accustomed to the stimulation, the sensation, and has no issues being sufficiently stimulated to finish. Once this process is complete, you’ll find that you can have orgasms that are just as powerful or even more intense than you were able to achieve with your hand while using the toy with a condom and hands-free.
After completing this process, your penis should be a lot more sensitive! While your death grip syndrome may not be completely cured in just 3 weeks, you will definitely notice an enormous difference and be on the road to enjoying healthier self-pleasure and more gratifying sexual encounters with partners. You could even celebrate with a trip to Nevada to see me!
Death grip can be a frustrating condition, but using the steps I’ve outlined above along with a little patience, it can absolutely be overcome. Take a step in the right direction for your sexual health and start being more aware of the way you treat your body and your sexuality! Your future partner will thank you!