Connect with us

Women

Side Jobs That Are Sure To Get You Laid

Published

on

While it isn’t something that career counselors touch upon in school, it’s something that all of us men have considered at some point before choosing our career path – What job gives you the best chance of getting laid?

And before we look into this in more detail, lets also acknowledge that just because we don’t actually have a certain job, it doesn’t necessarily stop us from telling the ladies that we do. We might not all own up to it, but truth be told, most of us boys have claimed to have a more glamorous career or job title when trying to impress a woman. Whether you became a pilot in the Air Force or a sport star for the evening, we’d say whatever we had to say to seal the deal.

Of course, there are men out there who don’t need to lie about their professions – Not because they are so good looking, but because these guys actually have jobs that help them get laid. They don’t even need to brag about it in a bar, they actually get women while they are working! You might say that these guys are gigolos since, technically, they are getting paid while hooking up!

The first of these man whores we will look at is the tennis coach. This guy can really clean up with rich, bored housewives and younger women alike. We have to assume that as our stud has secured himself a job as a sports coach, he is physically fit, so he has one of the boxes checked straight away. But it isn’t just his body that will get women in the sack, it’s the touching. Yes, the tennis coach is required (it’s in his job description) to stand close up behind women while touching them and pretending to teach them a drop shot. New balls please!

Next up is the artist. Not a goatee sporting, smock wearing painter, but a tattoo artist. The tattoo artist is one of the few men outside of the medical profession who spend their days looking at naked flesh. No doubt, the art of tattooing is extremely intimate, whereever on the body, and once a woman sees how deft these guys are with their hands it won’t be long until they are being poked by more than a needle! But we should have a little sympathy for our tattoo artist, for every babe he gets to “pen”, he’s got to deal with 50 fat hairy bikers.

Bouncers and party promoters already have a head start on the competition. As the official gate keepers to a good time they’ve got the D and E of the D.E.N.N.I.S. system covered from their first interaction. Slipping a wristband on to a party girl’s hand not only engages them physically without them noticing, but the front door is a perfect time to introduce yourself or get a number. Plus, girls are always trying to make a connection so they can jump the line or get perks such as free cover.

This one is so obvious we almost don’t need to mention it – but we’re going to anyway. The masseuse has one of the best jobs of all for a guy looking to get laid. Even if your female customer is not feeling horny when she comes in through the door, a few minutes of having her naked back rubbed, caressed and pressed, and she’ll be hot and frisky. You’ll soon know if you are on a promise as a masseuse, as your client asks you if you can do her front as well as her back! Get the oils ready…

Anybody been skiing? If you have then you will know that ski instructors hold an almost mystical power over women. As soon as a female skier sees an instructor in his salopettes, she is instantly imagining him out of them! They don’t even need to be on the piste! The instructor is one of our heroes who doesn’t even need to be working to get lucky, he can just hang around in the bar, with the instructor jacket on (or even nearby) and the spell is cast. Of course, get him on the slopes and he is a different animal. Like our tennis coach, the ski instructor has ample opportunity for touching, and a few swivels of his hips whilst demonstrating the snow plough behind a woman will have his work done.

So there are a few ideas for you guys, but don’t be limited by them, you are duty bound as a man to give yourself whatever advantage you can when it comes to hooking up!

Trent Carter is looking to keep the tradition of T&A alive and well in today's politically correct world with his popular Thong Battle features, among other things. He also covers even racier topics on our sister site, which is definitely not safe for work!

3 Comments

3 Comments

  1. Phil

    June 19, 2013 at 2:37 am

    As a former personal trainer and bartender I totally can relate to this article!

    • Trent

      June 19, 2013 at 12:04 pm

      Which job got you more tail Phil, bartender or personal trainer?

  2. Brad

    November 15, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    I taught ballroom for three years. I quit because of something involving a student. Your job title is impressive outside the workplace but believe me most dance studios have a strict no fraternization policy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail.

Advertisement

Archives

Categories

Recent Comments