Coming out of the pandemic, it’s pretty clear that sexting is here to stay. It’s not just fun when a rogue disease separates you from your partner; it’s fun all the time. On top of being fun, some studies suggest that sexting can improve your relationship. So, if you didn’t spend your time in isolation polishing your best sexting lines, here are some tips for sexting like a pro.
Be Explicit—But Don’t Rush
The first tip is the trickiest. It’s hard to find the perfect balance between wild, adrenaline-pulsing sexts and sexts that are paced well. After you have their consent, you want to express your enthusiasm about your sexting partner, and you want to go into detail about what you’d like to do to them.
All too often, the problem is that people rush to the very end right at the start. “I want to make you come” shouldn’t be anywhere near the beginning of your sexts unless it’s followed by “but I’m going to make you wait.”
When you start with the finish, you have nowhere to go, no plot to create. You’re painting yourself into a corner, and you might start to panic because there’s no clear path forward. You can’t keep saying “and then I keep doing that thing you like” over and over again—it’s going to be obvious you don’t know what to do next. And if you backtrack (like moving from talking about oral sex to making out), it can be sexy in real life, but when you’re sexting, it can be weird. Your partner might feel like you’re getting bored, and the change in pace can be disorienting.
Start with small details, like where your partner is and what she is wearing. Set the scene, and go slow. If she’s game, you could ask her to unbutton her shirt and send a picture. Yes, that’s how slow you want to go. The slower you go, the more potential you have for a big anticipation buildup—and a massive payoff.
Put Some Effort Into It
Most women have had the unfortunate experience of sexting someone who replies with mostly emojis or questions. “What would you do if you were here right now,” followed by a series of “and then what?” texts make for a seriously unsatisfying sexting experience. Don’t expect to receive nudes if you don’t send some yourself. And help your lady out—create part of the fantasy. You’ll get to have more of a say of where your sexts lead, and she won’t feel like she has to do all the heavy lifting in the conversation.
Use Some Adjectives
Saying “I want to make out with you right now” is good, but it can get old and feel a bit generic. You don’t have to get out your thesaurus, but it’s important to be super descriptive. What is it that you find so sexy about your partner? Think about all your five senses and make it clear why you can’t stop thinking about her. This is no time to be terse. Use your vocabulary to communicate clearly what you feel.
Have a Sense of Humor
When sexting, it’s important to remember there’s no “right” thing to say. Being sincere is going to be a lot sexier than agonizing over every word, wondering if she thinks you’re weird, and holding back. Even when you try to have every sext be sexy, something is going to go poorly.
Look how well this pro sexting professional talks about body positivity and tips on how to send pictures and videos over chat. Sometimes, awkward things might happen—like typos or misreading what your partner said. Some things are just bound to come across wrong. It doesn’t have to be a big deal if you can joke about it. If you suggest something and your partner isn’t into it, you can always say something along the lines of, “Wow, that really didn’t land! Oh well.” Move onto the next thing, and it will lighten the mood for both of you.
Find Someone to Practice Sexting With
People always say that experience is the best teacher, and people are right. Nothing will make you feel more comfortable than getting a few sexting encounters under your belt and trying out a few different lines. Even your photos will improve because you’ll learn your best angles and get new ideas. You’ll branch out from the same old pictures, the same old lines, and you’ll start to feel like yourself.
If you don’t have someone to practice with, the Internet can help with that. Sites like JuiceBox offer a bot for you to sext with to give you some basic practice.
For more advanced preparation, you’ll want to find an actual human. Sites like Arousr are places where you can find someone to sext with for good, real-life practice. Plus, they verify that everyone is an adult, so all you have to worry about is taking your sexting game to the next level.