I came across this story last week, and thought it was worth reposting for those who might have missed it. Enjoy!
This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the Domino’s Pizza tracker saved my life
I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos. I don’t eat enough pizza from either to really have a concrete answer of which one makes a better pie. I can tell you one solid truth… As my last relationship ended and the lies, scandals and deceptions came out, after all was said and done, my psycho ex girlfriend did teach me one VERY important thing:
ALWAYS choose Domino’s over pizza hut.
I had been having trouble with my now EX-girlfriend for quite awhile, I won’t go into details, but let’s just say she went crazy. I thought, simple: I’ll just break it off.
Wrong.
One Friday night, around 8:00pm, after a long week of work and incessant phone calls/psychotic voicemails from the unbalanced EX, I decided I was going to stay in, which one any weekend night is abnormal for me. Usually on weekend nights that I am in, I usually am cool with a movie, a 6 pack and a pizza. I had been ordering from Pizza Hut the last few times, but after a constant bombardment with Domino’s “WE’VE CHANGED OUR SHIT, I SWEAR WE’RE AWESOME NOW” ad campaign, I decided to give it a shot.
Around 8pm, I went online to order my pizza. I built a modest 2 topping medium pizza, and placed my order. You have to love how far we have come in the delivery pizza world.
Immediately afterwards, I was introduced to the piece of a software that would save my neck.
The Pizza Tracker.
Pizza tracker? Fuck yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don’t know what the pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from Domino’s. It’s the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza.
This is where the night got interesting.
I am on my couch, one eye on “Parks and Rec” the other on the pizza tracker displayed on my lap top that joined me on the couch.
We had just entered stage 2: Prep.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
For a split second I thought, “woh that was fast,” I put my order in 10 minutes ago and pizza tracker says it’s still in stage 2.
By the end of my thought, the door swung open.
Guess who.
Yep, it was my psychotic EX. Knife in hand, she starts threatening to do some pretty awful things. I try to stand up, she freaks. I stay on the couch and attempt to calm her down. She goes into a hysterical rant about us getting back together, ya right, and I glance at the pizza tracker.
Stage 3. Bake (Juan is putting your order in the oven)
She goes on while all I can think is GO JUAN GO!!!! GET THAT SHIT IN THE OVEN!
I try to calm her down, I stand up and she freaks out and tells me “SIT THE FUCK DOWN!!”
She continues on her violet outburst and I tell her we can work things out hoping to get her to calm down. It’s no use.
I decide I need to try and get to my phone. I inconspicuously try to look for my cell phone. Dammit! I left it my room. I am screwed. I am dead. The pizza man will get blamed for this! Oh, the poor pizza boy will be wrongfully blamed and get life in prison for what this unstable bitch is going to do to me.
STAGE 4! BOX!
FUCK YEAH! They are boxing up my pizza. Get your ass over here!
She continues on for another 5 minutes. Trying to make eye contact, glancing at the pizza tracker every second she looks away.
Stage 5! DELIVERY: Alejandro is delivering your pizza.
GOD SPEED ALEJENDRO!!! MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON THIS!
Knowing that the Alejandro is on the way, I try and just keep her talking, but the more she talks the more enraged she gets. I try to interupt, but that just makes things worse.
It’s been 10 minutes, Alejandro should be here any time.
She continues, she is yelling at the top of her lungs about the things we could have been. I am still banking that Alejandro will be here any second and save the day.
10 more minutes go by.
Alejandro GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR!
SHE IS OFFICIALLY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. She puts the knife up to her wrist and then takes it away. I am panicking. Where the fuck is Alejandro! Pizza tracker tells me we’re still in stage 5. FUCK YOU PIZZA TRACKER , YOU’VE BEEN IN STAGE 5 FOR 25 MINUTES!!!! I will never order from Domino’s again!!! After this thought I immediately think to myself, I will be dead, so I will probably never order another pizza again.
Right then, the cops come in. At gunpoint they calm her down and obtain the knife. Alejandro had shown up to the door wide open and saw psycho with the knife and went back to his ’98 Honda Accord and called the cops. Domino’s pizza literally saved my life. They should change the name from the pizza tracker to the savior tracker.
Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didn’t panic, and saved my ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a fucking excellent pizza too.
[Source: UHpinions]
at 5:51 pm
This is one of the coolest stories I have ever heard.
at 3:28 am
Mine too.
at 6:54 am
Muthafuckin’ pizza, bro.
at 10:13 am
I hope you tipped well.
at 12:21 pm
How did the pizza tracker save that dudes life? Even if he had ordered Pizza Hut, the driver would have gotten to the door and saw the exact same thing and hopefully called the police.
at 4:56 pm
because the fact that there was a tracker he knew how long to talk her through, he had a reason to get out of this, he saw hope at the end and he decided to work towards it. without the tracker he wouldn’t have been able to think the same way other than about the girl and might have done something horribly wrong too early on. i think this was just a lucky story and shouldn’t be the deciding factor on which pizza place you choose bc tbh i love the pasta from pizza hut but if you have a crazed family member or special someone dominos might be the correct choice. the guy who wrote this will probably only ever eat at dominos again
at 7:30 am
why are you so dumb
at 7:35 pm
Two sentences in and I’m told that people shouldn’t date me because I’m bipolar, so clearly all bipolars are like this chick. I wish we used that logic everywhere else! A Christian straight male killed someone? Clearly nobody should ever date this type of person again!
at 8:56 pm
you sound angry… kinda like the chick from the story….
at 10:58 pm
basically this
at 10:12 pm
Thank you Hannah, I thought the same exact thing. I’m also bipolar, and I’ve never had any murderous tendencies as stated in the story. I’m pretty sure that girl had a few other issues besides just being bipolar.
at 9:27 pm
Yeah I’m also bipolar and this just damaged my feelings. It’s really hurtful to assume all girls with bipolar disorder are crazy when most of us are stable. The girl in this story obviously had something else wrong with her and it seriously isn’t cool of him to say “never date a bipolar girl.” Screw the guy whose story this is. Not okay.
at 7:22 pm
For the record, it says it isn’t a good idea to date a bipolar girl in that first sentence. Much like it isn’t a good idea to smoke or dip. You know there are some benefits, but their is that definite possibility it could be very bad for you.
at 1:05 am
I hope you and Alejandro are the best of friends now! XDD
at 10:59 pm
I honestly can’t tell if this is a joke or not. I really can’t. I’m sure everyone will be up the ass over Domino’s soon, though; forgetting that they support rape, physical and mental assults, racism, and a whole slew of other things. This all had NOTHING to do with the company or the pizza tracker – it was ONE good person who when faced with the choice of running or helping, chose to help. Also “dating bipolar girls is not a good idea”. You know what else isn’t a good idea? Being an asshole, like you are.
at 8:15 pm
This is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time & to the people who take offense sheesh! Learn to widen up your mind & have fun! Just because he was talking about her & saying bipolar doesn’t mean anything. it’s about HER not YOU